Are you trying to do too much? Be honest.
Busyness vs. whole. I choose whole!
Which of these equals success in your mind?
1) Being busy all the time balancing your busy job/career, your home obligations, the kids/family, volunteering at church…and then when trying to fit in time for a doctor’s appointment or a walk with a friend, you put if off because you realize you have a work deadline and you can’t get it all done. You’re just too busy. Crazy busy!
2) Waking up an hour earlier to get in a rigorous walk or workout at the gym and taking time for a 5-10 minute meditation. And then helping the kids get ready for school and going about your work day.
Perhaps spontaneously stopping at the park to play with the kids on the way home from school while you ask them about their day. Or, making plans with your partner to go to a new nearby park on Saturday for a rigorous trail hike, instead of working all day or running errands. Because, really, the cleaning can wait.
Which one did you pick? Be honest.
Being busy all the time means that you’re a super star, right? Busy = good. It means you’re not boring. People like and need you. You’re an expert juggler. All is good.
But wait! Where are you in this equation? Are you in there…in your own life? Or, are you trying to do too much outside of yourself because you believe societal demands dictate it. Or, because it’s how you feel important and valued? It’s where you get your real worth.
Are you in the equation of your own life?
Up until five years ago, I was definitely option 1. I was the busiest person on the planet. If friends or family asked me, I was always crazy busy. Crazy is right! I was so busy filling myself up with work, my clients’ needs, what my friends or family needed, that I put “me” on hold. Shoved me aside and gave up on meeting my most basic needs.
Yep, I was the hamster on the wheel going round and round at a pretty good clip. Always busy, but never really getting anywhere. And, there was never enough of me to go around — yet ironically I was a big girl at 381 pounds.
Part of me felt important and successful. But a bigger part of me, the inside, felt empty and lost. Like I was living a partial life. And, little did I know at the time, I was unconsciously killing myself. Working 12-18 hours days in an office chair, 7 days per week, as a badge of busyness honor. I survived on way too little sleep and a diet of fast food and heavily processed food. And I ate to comfort and celebrate, and de-stress.
With my obesity gene and family health history, I was on a quick path to an early death. But I wasn’t really conscious of it. Because I was too busy!
Why did I choose this kind of life?
In part, because busyness is a badge of honor in today’s world. Busy = good, in most people’s eyes. The busier we are, the more important we are. Super Woman. (Or, Super Man.) Right?
And in part, because I didn’t love and value myself enough to understand that unless I was in the center of the equation of my own life, taking care of my health and happiness, not only would no one else do it, but certainly, I would eventually break. There would not be enough of me to go around. I didn’t know at the time, but do now, that I am SO MUCH BETTER when I am taking care of me first, then others. Even a little self-care and self-nutruting goes a long way.
Busyness does not make us happy. It also does not make us successful.
This morning I read this fabulous blog post by Christine Carter on Positively Positive blog titled: “Think Busyness is a sign you’re succeeding? Think again.”
I loved this article and wanted to share it here because I was exactly the person she described. And now, I’m not.
Now, I am living squarely in the center of the equation of my own life. I am living a whole life. I am busy, and at times, like right now — my work and my ideal future career demand some longer hours. Sometimes, I even have to say no to friends or other social obligations that I WANT to do because I have a deadline, or I need to prep for a speech. But not often. Not always. And never at the expense of me. I am always taking care of me now, like a laser beam. And it works.
It took me a long time to learn this — more than 40 years. But I did and I am grateful. And I am super grateful to Christine Carter, “happiness expert”, for the blog that jump started my day today and allowed me to share this message with all of you!
Happy Monday morning, peeps! What are you doing today to ensure that you are taking care of you, and you are squarely in your equation? Let’s hear it.
Read some of my related blog posts here:
- -211 lbs + love = a WHOLE life (Dec. 2014)
- A whole life…the best life (Feb. 2014)
- Two years fit & healthy. New life, new lessons (May 2014)
- Grateful to be in the equation (Nov. 2013)
- Putting yourself in the equation (Jan. 2013)
- In the equation, How I transformed my body & re-ignited my life (May 2012)