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Oct 21

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Finding my strong on the mountaintop

Can you be strong when your world falls apart?

As I awoke to the morning sunlight streaming across the ocean and into the bedroom window, I was reminded that Hurricane Irma had just hit my life. Sadness set in before the sleep was out of my eyes. How can you be strong when it feels as if your whole world has just fallen apart? I’ve survived some tough stuff, but I’m not sure I know how to do so while being strong.

I got out of bed and made my way outside to the wrap-around porch to drink my morning coffee and watch the tide slowly roll out, exposing the sea life on the ocean floor. Will those critters survive this tidal change, I wondered? What do they do when they become exposed and are gasping for air?

As I sit rather zombie-like starring out at the sea, I feel sad, mad, worried, empty, scared, tired, overly emotional, and…more. Feelings too exhausting to think about. And yet I find myself preoccupied with one question — what does it look like to be strong when the world as you know it is changing forever and not by choice? When bad things and challenging times pummel you with gale-force speed like an unforgiving Hurricane batters the shore, and you can’t fix it or change it.

This is not the first time I’ve been pummeled, of course, but this feels like the worst pummeling ever. (Most of the details don’t matter to the story — we all have times we experience this). What strikes me today is that I don’t think I’ve ever pondered this question in the midst of a pummeling.

Rather, I’ve wallowed, cried, complained, and suffered alone in my hurt and pain — drowning it with work, food, alcohol — and hiding from the outside world. And when other people experienced pain and suffering — I was the first one to show up. I gave, and gave and gave at the expense of myself, trying to fix it.

None of this feels right to me now. None of it fits my new Lori-in-the-equation life. And yet the pull to go back to bed and bury my head in the covers is strong. The pull to eat everything in sight — even stronger! I have a lot of experience with that.

But perhaps this is the next evolution of transformation for me. An opportunity to find my strongest and best self and learn to cope with “hard,” while loving and giving to her. So, I get curious again.

Can you be strong when your world falls apart? Read more

Sep 20

Put Yourself In the Equation & Re-Ignite Your Life

Join me at St. Paul YWCA & Portland, Maine’s WMPG 90.9 Radio to learn how

One of my all-time favorite things to do is to connect with others who share a similar story of struggling with weight and self-esteem for most of their lives. Just as my inspiration and mentor O’Neal Hampton from NBC’s The Biggest Loser gave me the gift of HOPE, my goal is to pay it forward, spread hope and inspire other to change.

This month, you’ll have two opportunities to join me as I share my In-the-Equation transformation story and message of hope publicly. YES, this is your personal invitation to put yourself in the equation and re-ignite your life! I hope you’ll join me. The details are below.

Put Yourself in the Equation & Re-Ignite Your Life, YWCA St. Paul

Please join me in person at the Saint Paul YWCA in Minnesota this next Wednesday, Sept. 27 from Noon to 1:00 p.m. This YWCA sponsored Learn & Burn session is for both YWCA members and is open to the public, plus it’s FREE!

I’ll share my transformation story and principles for creating transformative change in your own life. And there will be time for Q&A. This event is FREE and open to the public, but it does require pre-registration by clicking here. Please join us as I celebrate five years of living in the equation sans -200 lbs and talk about not only how I lost the weight but how I’ve kept it off. I’m so excited for this talk and hope to see you at the YWCA. Read more

Sep 11

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Faith, courage & love

Requirements for braving the wilderness & living healthy, happy & whole

There is no other blog I could write today. I had the privilege of being in the audience last night at United Methodist Church in Minneapolis, MN, as the amazing Brene Brown kicked off her book tour for Braving the Wilderness, The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone.

Those of you who frequent this blog, know that I’ve not only been inspired by Brene Brown’s work around courage, vulnerability, love, belonging, shame and empathy, but her best-selling books have mirrored my growth AND my personal understanding about my transformation journey. In her message, I am blessed to learn, grow and evolve as a wholehearted human being, and now to share that experience and perhaps help others in doing so.

The values that Brene Brown speaks about — faith and courage — I share. I try to live daily by the core values of faith, courage and love — and it has perhaps never been more challenging than right now. Read more

Aug 22

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WWLD? Staying “In The Equation” in a crisis

WWLD — What Would Lori Do? This is my new mantra for practicing self-care and keeping myself “In The Equation” when the going gets really, really, really tough. (Yes, three reallys!)

And right now things are tough. My Dad has spent the last 12 days in the hospital about 60 miles from where I live — a week in critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit. My 13-year old nephew is still without full-time parental care and living in a temporary foster home. His mom, my 53-year-old sister, is in her third nursing home in 1.5 years working on recovering from a massive stroke. And the family dynamics amidst all of this are a challenge to say the least.

Thus, for the first time since May 2012, I find myself really struggling to stay “In the Equation.” I’ve fallen off my healthy eating plan and eaten more junk food in the last two weeks than in the last five years (yep, I’m not perfect). I haven’t practiced my regular high intensity workout routine for weeks. Sleep is a challenge. I haven’t written a blog in nearly a month. My home and yard need attention… And yet, despite all of that I have NOT thrown in the towel on my own self care. Why? Because this is my new “Healthy Lori” non-negotiable.

As I returned last night weary and sad from a long stretch at the hospital, I debated whether I could muster the strength to write a blog in an attempt to process some of the stress I’m feeling. What would I say to myself to get back on track that might also be useful to others who find themselves in a tumultuous sea of crisis — things totally outside of their control and struggling to stay afloat?

What popped into my head was not an answer, but a question: “What would Lori do?” I wondered. Read more

Jul 31

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Launch into action – right now! Start. Restart. Go.

5-4-3-2-1-GO! Could it really be that simple?

I first learned about The Five Second Rule from my friend, Shirar, in Maine this Spring (not the one about dropping food on the floor, a new rule). We were talking about the Restart and how to get yourself back on track after messing up and Shirar mentioned this great technique that she heard about to  propel yourself into action by counting backwards from 5 — 5-4-3-2-1. It sounded simple and she said it was backed by science. I was intrigued so I made a mental note to check it out.

About a week ago, Shirar referenced the 5-4-3-2-1 in her own restart to get back on track with exercise. I saw the post on Facebook and made a second mental note to go online and check it out…when I had time.

Yesterday morning I implemented the #5secondrule for the first time in my own restart and it worked! It propelled me to action without thinking about it. Pretty cool.

This summer, I’ve started to slip outside of what I call my “Healthy & Happy Zone.” I’ve also recognized the old familiar Gremlin voice of self-doubt creeping into my psyche. So I stopped to take notice and decided to change it up. On Saturday as I was headed to the grocery store I gave myself a pep talk to RESTART and get back in the Zone. In short, the conversation went something like this. “You need to clean it up, Lor, no excuses!” I recognized the counter reply as my “old” and retired Gremlin Voice. It answered: “Next Tuesday is August 1st, start then. Aug. 1st is a way better day to start than today.”

I know that voice of self-sabotage well as I lived with it and allowed it to guide me for too much of my adult life. But I’m living with Lori-In-The-Equation now and I knew exactly what to do next. As I went to bed Saturday night, I thought of Shirar’s tip — 5-4-3-2-1. When the alarm went off on Sunday morning instead of staying in bed and blowing off my workout, justifying a day of “rest” — I launched myself out of bed saying out loud 5-4-3-2-1 … GO! Read more

Jul 12

The power of acceptance

We can’t change what we cannot ACCEPT. And that includes ACCEPTING what we can & can’t control.

I was talking with someone the other day about my transformation journey and five-year anniversary and she fixated on one question: “Aren’t you mad that you have to work so hard to stay healthy and fit and that you’ll struggle with this for the rest of your life?” (No!)

In another conversation recently, a close friend was having a terrible time accepting the reality of depression and was spiraling deeper because of his refusal to accept it. It made me sad.

In a much more trivial moment, I was personally challenged to accept the answer I got from American Honda about a serious defect in my Honda CRV that might cause the engine to blow up and their process for dealing with it. (Don’t even get me started on this one!)

How many of you have had difficulty accepting a misfortune —  something you don’t really like or want in your life? Yep, I’m guessing pretty much everyone.

Read more

May 25

Five lessons of five years living in the equation (sans -200 lbs)

With gratitude from the mountaintop

Those of you who know me personally or have followed my blog, know that I’ve used a mountain climbing analogy to describe my personal transformation journey. I truly believe that as we conquer the mountains, we conquer ourselves.

One of the fundamental things that’s different about me as I celebrate five years of living in the equation sans -200 lbs is that I now actively seek those mountains. I say YES!, accept the challenge, and aim to live a WHOLE life, not just a busy one. I do this because I know that as I conquer the mountain (literally and figuratively) I will grow and bloom. In fact, this is where the growth and bloom occurs.

As a fit and active girl, I take it to the mountain when I’m searching for answers, needing a restart, wanting to feel strong and fit, when I want to challenge myself, and to celebrate every significant milestone in this journey. It’s my go-to place…my sanctuary…the place I feel closest to the Universe. And, it’s where I’m actively conquering me.

Last week, I took it to my all-time favorite mountain — Penobscot in Acadia National Park, Maine. I embarked on a solo climb to celebrate my 5-year milestone and ponder my biggest and next question: “What do I need to say YES! to right now?” As usual, the mountain did not disappoint. Read more

May 12

Healthy, happy & whole sans -200 lbs. More than a weight loss story — it’s an inside job!

Celebrating 5 years of Lori in the equation!

Lori in the equation 5 years – May 2017

I woke up today on the official 5-year anniversary of living with “Lori-in-the-equation” and hopped on the scale. A cheer erupted when I weighed -202 lbs LESS than I did at my highest weight, confirming that I’ve successfully maintained my 200+ lb weight loss for 5 years. YES!

My pants are still 11 sizes smaller than when I started my journey in 2010 (though a few things have shifted!). I feel strong, healthy and fit! I’m climbing mountains for fun. I’m living a WHOLE life, not just busy one. And, putting myself in the equation and taking care of me now comes naturally. It’s non-negotiable.

As I mark this five-year milestone, I am beyond grateful and even humbled by these incredible gifts that have now become my norm.

Most people look at me as a weight-loss success story. But, my transformation journey isn’t about weight loss. It isn’t about diet and exercise. It’s not about counting calories or macros. Nor is it about deprivation…or even willpower. And, it’s not done.

The greatest gift I’ve given myself is not the hard numbers — though it feels incredible to be healthy and have reversed my health trajectory. Rather, the greatest gift is how I’ve changed on the inside. This is what makes it an inside job.

Here are just a few things that are different on the inside. I’ve learned to push past fear and stop being paralyzed by perfection. I no longer self sabotage and beat myself up for being imperfect. I know that I’m enough, exactly as I am. I’ve proven to myself that I can do anything I make up my mind to do. I’ve learned to love and accept myself, imperfections and all. I’ve discovered that self-care is a non-negotiable, and acquired new skills like the “restart” to keep me on track. And I’ve learned to change beliefs and life-long thought patterns that were keeping me stuck and stalled.

Read more

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