Self-compassion is not selfish
As human beings we’re wired for compassion. We often give it freely to others. Sometimes, we desire/expect it back from others. But rarely are we comfortable giving it to ourselves.
I used to think that self-compassion and self-care as a priority were selfish. I lived my life doing everything for everyone else and I wasn’t EVEN IN the equation of my own life. I was the hamster on the wheel spinning like a crazy person and feeling there was never enough of me to go around — and I weighed 381 lbs!
The truth is, self-compassion and self-care are essential to being in your equation and living a healthy, happy and WHOLE life. It’s putting your oxygen mask on before assisting others, as they say when you travel — secure your mask before assisting others. This ensures, of course, that you are there to assist others. It also ensures that your health and happiness are just as important. You matter. Get used to it.
I live from the center of this belief now. It is not always natural, but it is necessary to foster my continued health, happiness and internal transformation. It is the key. In fact, I posted this photo of me this past week climbing a mountain in Acadia (small one) as it is one of the central ways I take care of myself. It’s good for body, mind and soul!
This is a great article from the Greater Good Science Center, University of Berkley, about the five myths of self-compassion. Now, science proves this point. If you have trouble being as compassionate with yourself as you are with others, I urge you to read it. While it is long, it busts those common myths about self-compassion and self-care.
Bs good to yourselves. Care for yourselves FIRST. Put yourself in the center of the equation of your own life and, I promise you, you’ll be better, happier and healthier for it. More fun, creative, strategic and engaged with those important peeps in your life. I know this because I’m living proof.