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Posts tagged ‘love’

May 3

Setting healthy boundaries…harder than it seems

In theory, we know as intelligent humans that setting personal boundaries is a form of self-love and self-respect. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to execute!

This morning, I had two situations that required me to set a healthy boundary with two different people that I truly care for. In doing so, I learned both how important it is, and that I’m not all that good at it — yet! I consider myself an active work in progress.

Does anyone else struggle to set healthy boundaries, even if you feel you have self-love and respect?

For me, it feels necessary to set boundaries and communicate them to those I am in (or want to be actively in) relationship with — yet it’s still uncomfortable and a bit unsettling in practice. This is probably because I didn’t set boundaries for much of my adult life. Indeed, I’m still learning the art of execution. But, I am becoming clearer about what those boundaries are for me personally (and that’s a win). Progress not perfection. Read more

Mar 8

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A year to STRETCH in every way…

…in work, love, physical pursuits, kindness, bigness, emotional bravery & more!

Hello March! Is anyone reading this surprised we’re already nearly three months into 2018?!

I must admit that I started this new year disoriented and disinterested in setting goals for 2018. My Dad had just died (Dec. 2017) and, of course, it has   left me in grief mode — feeling sad, lost, depleted, uninterested in goal setting, unsure of what next, and more.

Honestly, I was clear on only one thing at the end of 2017 and that was that I wanted 2018 to be different. I needed and wanted to shake things up in my life — to open myself up to the Universe in new and challenging ways, and I didn’t want to have to think too hard immediately about how. (If you’ve ever been in this place, you get it.)

For this In-the-equation girl who has been living brave, saying YES! and  constantly growing and changing during the past 7.5 years — just the realization that I needed a “time out” to regroup and recharge is hugely important.

In late January, I was on a morning walk with a close friend when I realized that what I really wanted in 2018 (besides a change of scenery and routine) was to STRETCH — personally and professionally. So I decided STRETCH was my word theme for 2018. What that means in practice, well, that’s a work in progress. And that’s how I believe it needs to be. Read more

Oct 21

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Finding my strong on the mountaintop

Can you be strong when your world falls apart?

As I awoke to the morning sunlight streaming across the ocean and into the bedroom window, I was reminded that Hurricane Irma had just hit my life. Sadness set in before the sleep was out of my eyes. How can you be strong when it feels as if your whole world has just fallen apart? I’ve survived some tough stuff, but I’m not sure I know how to do so while being strong.

I got out of bed and made my way outside to the wrap-around porch to drink my morning coffee and watch the tide slowly roll out, exposing the sea life on the ocean floor. Will those critters survive this tidal change, I wondered? What do they do when they become exposed and are gasping for air?

As I sit rather zombie-like starring out at the sea, I feel sad, mad, worried, empty, scared, tired, overly emotional, and…more. Feelings too exhausting to think about. And yet I find myself preoccupied with one question — what does it look like to be strong when the world as you know it is changing forever and not by choice? When bad things and challenging times pummel you with gale-force speed like an unforgiving Hurricane batters the shore, and you can’t fix it or change it.

This is not the first time I’ve been pummeled, of course, but this feels like the worst pummeling ever. (Most of the details don’t matter to the story — we all have times we experience this). What strikes me today is that I don’t think I’ve ever pondered this question in the midst of a pummeling.

Rather, I’ve wallowed, cried, complained, and suffered alone in my hurt and pain — drowning it with work, food, alcohol — and hiding from the outside world. And when other people experienced pain and suffering — I was the first one to show up. I gave, and gave and gave at the expense of myself, trying to fix it.

None of this feels right to me now. None of it fits my new Lori-in-the-equation life. And yet the pull to go back to bed and bury my head in the covers is strong. The pull to eat everything in sight — even stronger! I have a lot of experience with that.

But perhaps this is the next evolution of transformation for me. An opportunity to find my strongest and best self and learn to cope with “hard,” while loving and giving to her. So, I get curious again.

Can you be strong when your world falls apart? Read more

Sep 11

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Faith, courage & love

Requirements for braving the wilderness & living healthy, happy & whole

There is no other blog I could write today. I had the privilege of being in the audience last night at United Methodist Church in Minneapolis, MN, as the amazing Brene Brown kicked off her book tour for Braving the Wilderness, The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone.

Those of you who frequent this blog, know that I’ve not only been inspired by Brene Brown’s work around courage, vulnerability, love, belonging, shame and empathy, but her best-selling books have mirrored my growth AND my personal understanding about my transformation journey. In her message, I am blessed to learn, grow and evolve as a wholehearted human being, and now to share that experience and perhaps help others in doing so.

The values that Brene Brown speaks about — faith and courage — I share. I try to live daily by the core values of faith, courage and love — and it has perhaps never been more challenging than right now. Read more

Apr 20

Say YES!…it changes you

What do I need to say “yes” to?

This was the reflection question that came across my email about a month ago in the weekly podcast post, “Best of Ourselves” from my friend and leadership coach, Marcia Hyatt. The podcast was titled “Saying Yes.” Of course, I clicked on it instantly.

YES! has been my favorite word for five years.

It’s been a big part of my new life as a happy, healthy and fit girl living from the center of the equation. Since I hit my weight-loss goal in May 2012, I’ve been on a YES! mission to live, experience and DO all the things that I was too afraid or ashamed to do as a BIG girl living a small life. And I’m having a ball!

Saying YES! does NOT mean saying yes to everyone and everything. It does NOT mean giving it all away while focusing on others. That might have been my old definition, but it’s also how I lost myself along the way.

Nope. Today, saying YES! means pushing outside of my comfort zone…saying yes to the things that scare me…saying yes to living brave…going for what I really, really, really want…validating that who I am is enough. And, that distinction is absolutely critical. Read more

Dec 20

Does every cloud have a silver lining?

Reflections on a tough year and impending holiday. Not the blog I wanted or expected to write.

“Every cloud has a silver lining.” What does that mean, I wondered as a friend said those words in an attempt to comfort my heavy heart? Where did that phrase come from? While I get the spirit of it — there’s a bright side to every situation — it made me wonder if I really believed it.

Sometimes it feels impossible to imagine that even the worst situations have some positive aspect — especially when you are in the throws of it. Like when  your heart is heavy and your spirit broken. When things seem so bleak that you can’t find your way out. When you’re in physical and/or emotional pain that feels unbearable. When it seems as if the world is swirling out of control around you. Or, when something bad has happened to someone (or a whole bunch of someones) you love, and you can’t fix it.

And when this happens at the holidays, it feels even worse because there is so much anticipation and expectation around this time of year. For me, and many that I love, this is how we are feeling as we enter the holidays of 2016.

Yet as I process through it in writing this blog, I  realize that as incredibly tough as this past year and the impending holidays seem right now, I have not lost heart or hope. I just feel sad. My heart is heavy.

(Stick with me, it gets better, I promise!) Read more

Feb 25

Be a warrior for love

ITE_Warrior_quote

Feb 11

Love. It starts with you.

Tips for beginning to walk toward self-love and acceptance

self-loveSomewhere along my path of personal transformation, I’ve found a self-love and acceptance that brings me peace, joy and a centeredness that grounds me every day. I now love and accept myself exactly as I am — imperfections and all. For real. And that means I am more patient and kind to myself, more forgiving and gentle. And I’ve opened myself up to all kinds of other amazing love as a result.

The coolest part of this is that I’ve traveled here from almost the exact opposite end of the spectrum. From a place of almost unconscious, undetected struggle inside to ever be good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, sexy enough…

Yep, I came from a place that often allowed self-loathing to this amazing new place where I have a deep sense of self-respect, self-care and self-love. There’s a new, stronger and beautiful voice inside me that is able to counter and drown out (most of the time) my inner critic.

This was NOT an easy thing! It was not a one-time event. I can’t even tell you exactly when or how it happened for me. I just know that along the way of my external transformation to lose 200+ lbs, all the while working internally on recognizing, quieting and then changing my internal voice, I literally found myself. My beautiful, amazing, resilient and loving self! Read more

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