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Posts tagged ‘Progress not perfection’

Setting healthy boundaries…harder than it seems

In theory, we know as intelligent humans that setting personal boundaries is a form of self-love and self-respect. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to execute!

This morning, I had two situations that required me to set a healthy boundary with two different people that I truly care for. In doing so, I learned both how important it is, and that I’m not all that good at it — yet! I consider myself an active work in progress.

Does anyone else struggle to set healthy boundaries, even if you feel you have self-love and respect?

For me, it feels necessary to set boundaries and communicate them to those I am in (or want to be actively in) relationship with — yet it’s still uncomfortable and a bit unsettling in practice. This is probably because I didn’t set boundaries for much of my adult life. Indeed, I’m still learning the art of execution. But, I am becoming clearer about what those boundaries are for me personally (and that’s a win). Progress not perfection. Read more

Finding my strong on the mountaintop

Can you be strong when your world falls apart?

As I awoke to the morning sunlight streaming across the ocean and into the bedroom window, I was reminded that Hurricane Irma had just hit my life. Sadness set in before the sleep was out of my eyes. How can you be strong when it feels as if your whole world has just fallen apart? I’ve survived some tough stuff, but I’m not sure I know how to do so while being strong.

I got out of bed and made my way outside to the wrap-around porch to drink my morning coffee and watch the tide slowly roll out, exposing the sea life on the ocean floor. Will those critters survive this tidal change, I wondered? What do they do when they become exposed and are gasping for air?

As I sit rather zombie-like starring out at the sea, I feel sad, mad, worried, empty, scared, tired, overly emotional, and…more. Feelings too exhausting to think about. And yet I find myself preoccupied with one question — what does it look like to be strong when the world as you know it is changing forever and not by choice? When bad things and challenging times pummel you with gale-force speed like an unforgiving Hurricane batters the shore, and you can’t fix it or change it.

This is not the first time I’ve been pummeled, of course, but this feels like the worst pummeling ever. (Most of the details don’t matter to the story — we all have times we experience this). What strikes me today is that I don’t think I’ve ever pondered this question in the midst of a pummeling.

Rather, I’ve wallowed, cried, complained, and suffered alone in my hurt and pain — drowning it with work, food, alcohol — and hiding from the outside world. And when other people experienced pain and suffering — I was the first one to show up. I gave, and gave and gave at the expense of myself, trying to fix it.

None of this feels right to me now. None of it fits my new Lori-in-the-equation life. And yet the pull to go back to bed and bury my head in the covers is strong. The pull to eat everything in sight — even stronger! I have a lot of experience with that.

But perhaps this is the next evolution of transformation for me. An opportunity to find my strongest and best self and learn to cope with “hard,” while loving and giving to her. So, I get curious again.

Can you be strong when your world falls apart? Read more

Five lessons of five years living in the equation (sans -200 lbs)

With gratitude from the mountaintop

Those of you who know me personally or have followed my blog, know that I’ve used a mountain climbing analogy to describe my personal transformation journey. I truly believe that as we conquer the mountains, we conquer ourselves.

One of the fundamental things that’s different about me as I celebrate five years of living in the equation sans -200 lbs is that I now actively seek those mountains. I say YES!, accept the challenge, and aim to live a WHOLE life, not just a busy one. I do this because I know that as I conquer the mountain (literally and figuratively) I will grow and bloom. In fact, this is where the growth and bloom occurs.

As a fit and active girl, I take it to the mountain when I’m searching for answers, needing a restart, wanting to feel strong and fit, when I want to challenge myself, and to celebrate every significant milestone in this journey. It’s my go-to place…my sanctuary…the place I feel closest to the Universe. And, it’s where I’m actively conquering me.

Last week, I took it to my all-time favorite mountain — Penobscot in Acadia National Park, Maine. I embarked on a solo climb to celebrate my 5-year milestone and ponder my biggest and next question: “What do I need to say YES! to right now?” As usual, the mountain did not disappoint. Read more

The Post-it Note Plan. #intheequation

post-itnoteplan-intheeqationWho loves post-it notes?

O.K., ME! I am a (colored) post-it kinda gal. I use them for creativity and organization in my work, and in my personal life when I feel stuck, blocked, or like I need focus.

For the last few days on my morning walks, I’ve been noodling a NEW Lori-in-the-equation plan for 2016 to get me better focused on what I can control in my life, and to practice letting go (with grace) of the things I can’t. I’ve been feeling like SO MUCH in my world is out of my control these days. And to be honest, I’ve struggled with that.

Being a pessimist, a victim, a stuck or stalled kinda gal, does not suit me. So while I live in this crazy difficult year and the space between “no longer” and “not yet,” I’ve decided to honor it by thinking about WHAT in this space and time I can control that would propel me forward toward my goals. That includes sorting out what I really want and need to care about right now. Where I want my time, energy and focus to be. And, at the same time, WHAT I can let go of…because it no longer serves me or because it is 100% out of my control and worrying about it only keeps me from focusing on the things I can do something about. Read more

Operation reboot!

7 Tips for a successful start, restart, or total reboot

lori-operationreboot-2015Nearly four weeks ago I boldly blogged about my epiphany on the mountain and #operationreboot. It’s time for a reality check.

The old me wishes I could report that I’ve been perfect — 100% on plan with no slip ups. The new me laughs at that notion and is happy to report that Ive had a good run, with ups and downs along the way. I’m not perfect. But I’m authentically me. I love and celebrate that.

Yep, I’d rather be perfectly imperfect, perfectly authentic and 100% all in! That’s my new definition of success. And it’s working. I’m kinder and gentler with myself without hiding behind the excuses. I am able to take stock of major progress despite a lot of stress, travel and unexpected emotional challenges. I feel great — strong, capable, and on fire. There’s no question, that I’ll reach my goals. Because I know I can! One day at a time.

So here’s the report from the trenches. Read more

Time to restart!

And not because it’s Monday, but because you CAN!

ITE_restart_quoteWithout question one of the greatest gifts of my transformation journey — and my overall success at losing and keeping off 200+ pounds — is the ability to restart. So today for motivation Monday, it’s all about the restart.

What do I mean? Restart. Reset. Forgive yourself and get right back up and keep moving toward your goal. Because you totally CAN!

For most of my adult life, I was on a diet of some sort or feeling bad that I had fallen off the wagon and then I was busy telling myself I was a failure and couldn’t do it. I used my slips and falls on the diet as an excuse to throw in the towel, and as proof that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t measure up. I couldn’t do it. Read more

There is nothing wrong with imperfection

In fact, says Beth Probst: “I’ve found the greatest joy in things I genuinely suck at.”

imagesI’m coming off another rough night with little sleep. So this morning while I laced up my tennis shoes and sipped my first cuppa joe, I read this beautiful blog titled: Back of the Pack, by my friend and colleague, Beth Probst. (Yes, I am a multi-tasker even at 5:30 a.m.)

Beth describes herself as a “Mom. Communicator. Photographer. Gardener. Coffee Lover. Explorer. Living the simple but awesome and authentic life in NW Wisconsin.” I describe her as “kick-ass at expressing herself in the written word in a real, authentic and approachable way.” She is inspiring.

Back of the Pack,” is my favorite of Beth’s blogs to date. In it she shows us that it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s okay not to achieve your goals, but to finish anyway. She writes about running, about passion and finding hers, and about the beauty of screwing up. Read more

Climbing mountains…getting strong

She climbed until she saw…and saw…and saw…

Lorileif-oberg-bootcamp-bethprobstI love the quote, “She Climbed Until She Saw” by Compendium. And so it became the lori&leif-on-mountaintitle of this blog documenting my transformation journey over the last four years. A journey to health, happiness and personal growth.

It also became the metaphor for my transformation — for the internal work I needed to do to learn to love and accept myself  as enough. And for the physical mountains I would climb as part of my journey to weight loss.

It was in weight-loss boot camp that I climbed my very first mountain…and survived! I’ve now been climbing mountains for fitness and for pleasure every since. And I always look forward to both the physical challenge, and the mental one.

In November of 2010, as I readied for weight-loss boot camp, my dear friend Jean sent me this quote, which I’ve found myself reflecting on these past couple of days. I want to share it here again with you all because it is so representative of my journey and the struggles we all face going for our big, hairy, audacious goals — you know, the one(s) that have alluded you and that you say you’ll tackle someday. Here’s the poem — one of my favs.

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