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Why is this happening FOR me?

mary-oliver-posterPlease excuse the hiatus in the blog. I’ve been on vacation with family on the coast of Maine, living each moment to the fullest and dissing some of my regular day-to-day responsibilities. (I know, tough gig!) Time got away from me as one fun day rolled into the next.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of time lately. Have you ever thought about how much of our lives we spend wishing time away? Waiting for that next big event or thing to happen. Or, how much time we spend with our heads down just going through the motions of our daily routine, then getting up and doing it all over again the next day without really “living” in the moment?

My day-to-day life has completely changed in the last few months. I’m spending most of my summer in two states — two to three weeks living Downeast on the coast of Maine and then two to three weeks in Minnesota. For the first time since I can remember, there’s no set routine and just about everything is new — a new relationship, living in a new state and community, new friends, new job prospects and opportunities… As a result, I find myself planning in segments of time and living in unfamiliar territory. Some days everything feels topsy turvy…like an adventure. And, for someone as planful and structured as I am, at times it feels a bit chaotic.

It’s funny how messages show up in life when you need them. This morning, I read a great blog on Positively Positive blog on the topic titled, “Why Now is Our Time” by Skylar Liberty Rose. I love what she writes about living each day not as it is our last (that’s not practical) but rather, “living to our authentic best.” I realized that indeed, for the past few years anyway, that is exactly what I’m doing. It’s pretty cool, but it is not predictable, routine or structured.

Although my new life can feel chaotic at times and doesn’t provide as much routine as I’m used to, the gift is that I’m living more in the moment and more authentically than I did when I had my head down, hiding behind life as a fat girl. I’m adapting to new opportunities, adjusting to my new surroundings and finding my center. And this is exactly as it should be for a happy girl living from the center of her equation.

I’m lucky to be able to explore my new surroundings on the beautiful coast of Maine; learn to be in a new relationship/partnership; make new friends in a new town; and explore new work opportunities. And, although at times it feels uncertain and chaotic, it is more often empowering, energizing and freeing.

Three or four years ago at 381 pounds, I couldn’t have imagined that I’d be in such a beautiful  place with all this newness and opportunity. Reading the blog this morning by Skylar Liberty Rose reminded me how lucky I am to have had the courage to grab hold of life and “go for it.” Not everyone is so brave or lucky. Many people live like I used to — hiding behind work, addiction, and struggle, and seeing themselves as a victim rather than an opportunist or optimist. I still sometimes fall into that victim mentality — perhaps we all do — but I like this new space/life far better.

In her blog, Skylar shares her awakening moment and describes a similar view of grabbing on to life and going for it. I love her re-framing of the question we’ve all asked ourselves a million times, ” Why is this happening to me?” Rather, she suggests, if we look at it “Why is this happening for me?” Skylar writes, “There is always a message. There is always a lesson. Instead of feeling like a victim I chose to feel grateful. I’d been given an opportunity. I would choose to take it.”

I needed this reminder today. A reminder to embrace the concept of time. To live in the moment and not wish my life away. To re-frame the question to see the message/lesson behind it: “Why is this happening for me?”

Today, I’m grateful for the gift of time; for my new found ability to live in the moment authentically; and to see the message/lesson when things don’t go my way.

#gratefulgirl

 

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