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Setting healthy boundaries…harder than it seems

In theory, we know as intelligent humans that setting personal boundaries is a form of self-love and self-respect. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to execute!

This morning, I had two situations that required me to set a healthy boundary with two different people that I truly care for. In doing so, I learned both how important it is, and that I’m not all that good at it — yet! I consider myself an active work in progress.

Does anyone else struggle to set healthy boundaries, even if you feel you have self-love and respect?

For me, it feels necessary to set boundaries and communicate them to those I am in (or want to be actively in) relationship with — yet it’s still uncomfortable and a bit unsettling in practice. This is probably because I didn’t set boundaries for much of my adult life. Indeed, I’m still learning the art of execution. But, I am becoming clearer about what those boundaries are for me personally (and that’s a win). Progress not perfection. Read more

Time to up the ante on self-care & self-renewal

Spring: A time of new beginnings, fresh starts, and renewal. You in?

Ahhhhhhh Spring. It’s finally here! I don’t know about you, but I need a fresh start.

Many of us love Spring for what it represents in terms of new beginnings, rebirth and renewal. Spring brings longer days, warmer temperatures and sunshine; greening of the grass, trees and fields; fresh buds and blooms sprouting as if to say “hello” or “hey, pay attention to me;” animals awakening and birds and ‘peepers’ serenading us in song — in essence the earth seems to come to life again.

Spring is known as the season of new beginnings in part because of this rebirth and renewal, and in part because of the equinox. The Spring, or Vernal, Equinox occurs around March 20 in the Northern Hemisphere. (Though if you live in MN, Spring just arrived this past weekend.)

I love Spring for it’s reliability, if not predictability. But mostly, I love it for the symbolism of rebirth and renewal. A chance to start fresh, and with that comes hope, inspiration and anticipation — something I truly need this year.

Bye Bye Winter Blahs! Time to Refocus, Restart & Renew the Commitment Thy Self Read more

Just walk to the end of the block. Trust me!

“Just walk to the end of the block, Lor,” my friend Jim urged enthusiastically. “Then see if the next day you can walk a little further and eventually you’ll make it all the way around the block.”

Jim is a great friend. One that has known me for 20+ years, watching me balloon to my all-time high weight of 381 lbs by my late 40’s.

As my close friend and confidant, he was also witness to my internal sadness, increasing complaints of health problems, and my shrinking life as I played victim to the weight. And, when I finally got serious and embarked on a successful transformation journey to drop 200+ lbs, he was without question one of my biggest cheerleaders.

There was a time when walking to the end of my block seemed impossible — and I live in the middle of the block, so the distance was more like 1/2 block. I had every excuse in the book. But it was really only impossible because I made it so in my head. I was absolutely capable of walking that half a block and then some, but my mind was stopping me and I didn’t even try. Perhaps some of you reading this can relate.

Well, little did I know at the time, I would go on to walk that block and then some on a journey to put myself in the equation of my own life and take care of me. Read more

A year to STRETCH in every way…

…in work, love, physical pursuits, kindness, bigness, emotional bravery & more!

Hello March! Is anyone reading this surprised we’re already nearly three months into 2018?!

I must admit that I started this new year disoriented and disinterested in setting goals for 2018. My Dad had just died (Dec. 2017) and, of course, it has   left me in grief mode — feeling sad, lost, depleted, uninterested in goal setting, unsure of what next, and more.

Honestly, I was clear on only one thing at the end of 2017 and that was that I wanted 2018 to be different. I needed and wanted to shake things up in my life — to open myself up to the Universe in new and challenging ways, and I didn’t want to have to think too hard immediately about how. (If you’ve ever been in this place, you get it.)

For this In-the-equation girl who has been living brave, saying YES! and  constantly growing and changing during the past 7.5 years — just the realization that I needed a “time out” to regroup and recharge is hugely important.

In late January, I was on a morning walk with a close friend when I realized that what I really wanted in 2018 (besides a change of scenery and routine) was to STRETCH — personally and professionally. So I decided STRETCH was my word theme for 2018. What that means in practice, well, that’s a work in progress. And that’s how I believe it needs to be. Read more

What do you really, really, really want?

Not sure? Prioritize YOU. Join our vision board workshop – this Saturday, March 3!

This one is for the women out there. Why? Because I know so many women who have trouble prioritizing their needs, their self care, and all too often, their goals and dreams.

Nod (and keep reading) if you struggle to fit yourself into into the equation of your own life. If it makes you uncomfortable to prioritize yourself and your needs over others. And, if it makes you twitchy to go for what you really, really, really want.

Can you relate? I thought so.

When I ask women in my speeches what they really, really, really want at this point in their lives, the two most common answers are: “I don’t know,” and/or “I’m too busy to figure it out.”

Ah, yes, BUSY! I truly hate that word in my new in-the-equation life.

We’re too busy to practice self-care…too busy to get to that exercise class we’ve always wanted to try…too busy to connect with our girlfriends…and way too busy to attend a class/workshop or find other ways to consistently grow, challenge ourselves and feed our souls.

Trust me, I get it! I was in the “too busy” camp for much of my life, and then I realized this fundamental truth: NO ONE but me could/would take care of me and my needs. So if I didn’t do it, what kind of life was I actually living? What kind of future was I creating for myself?

So, ladies –or kick-A women, if you prefer — that is the reason I’m hosting my first-ever In-the-Equation Vision Board Workshop. (Well, that and the fact that for the first time in a long time I’m personally struggling to find my focus.) I’m excited to share this workshop with you, and with this blog, I invite you to join us. We’ve got just a few spots left.

Click here to jump to the event details and sign up on Facebook… or keep reading. Read more

Struggle with body image? Read this!

I read two blog articles this morning, both related to body image and how we present ourselves to the world as a result of that image. I decided to ditch the blog I was writing to share some thoughts on this important topic and provide links to the articles so you could read them for yourselves.

Body image is a tough one for so many women — and increasingly for men. Stats show that nearly 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance!

I’ve definitely had my own struggles over the years — especially when I weighed more than an NFL Defensive Lineman! For me, body image and self-love were directly connected. Until I learned to love and accept myself and show up as the person I really am (see “Permission to be Real“), it affected my work life, my love life…my overall life! Consequently, I was living small trying to protect myself from shame and the perceived judgements of others.

My personal transformation — inside perhaps even more than outside — has come bearing the gifts of self-love, self-acceptance and self-compassion. But I have to work on it every day! Read more

The powerful combo of grit & grace

I started the year reading a poem written by a new friend. It opened with a line about “grit and grace” and I was immediately captured by how connected I felt to those two words. I felt like the poem was calling to me and that someone really “got” me.

I re-read the poem about the same time I was reflecting on my Dad’s recent passing and his legacy, and noted that it was perhaps “grit” more than anything that he instilled in me — by genes and by example/experience.

Ironically, just days after I discovered the poem, two different friends (in two separate conversations) recommended a book called “Grit: The power of Passion & Perseverance” written by Anita Duckworth. I began reading Grit earlier this month and, wow, does it resonate — for me personally and as a Health & Wellness Coach aiming to help others. I highly recommend it! Read more

The first Christmas without Dad

Honoring my Dad who gave me the gift of health & more!

Today would have been my Dad’s 77th birthday. He died on Dec. 3rd this year, just three weeks before Christmas and his birthday, and after a sudden bought with Meningitis followed by an official diagnosis of Lewy Body disease.

When I spent the day with my Dad on Aug. 5, he was seemingly strong and resilient, like always. Days later he was hospitalized in ICU with delirium and a dangerously high fever. He never really came back to us after that day and he never went back home. Dad spent the final months of his life in and out of the nursing home, hospital, memory care, and finally hospice. It was only four months from the time he got sick until we lost him.

As I turned on the computer this morning to write, I wasn’t sure what this blog had to do with health and well-being — or even if it would be published. But I knew I needed to write. I now realize the message is powerful — for me and perhaps for you — and it has almost everything to do with health and well-being. Read more

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