And then I knew I had to let go

How do you know when it’s time to let go of something?

It could be a habit, behavior or belief that is no longer serving you. A dream that you’ve been hanging on to that still eludes you. Or a person — a relationship you need to let go of. Whatever “it” is, when and how do you know when it’s time to let it go?

I’ve been thinking about this question as I practice letting go, and  attempt to reconcile my desire/need to control my own destiny (as well as the speed at which it manifests). Sometimes it’s hard to know when to go all in and fight for something you really, really want vs. let it go.

Finding the balance between holding on and letting go is tricky.

Recently, as I’ve personally been wrestling with this question, I noticed that a blog I wrote in July 2013 titled: When is it time to let go? has been getting a lot of attention here. So apparently others are thinking about it, too.

Today — for me and for you — I’m re-publishing my July 2013 blog titled: When is it time to let go? When I re-read it today, more than two years after I originally wrote it, I still found it a helpful reminder. I hope you do, too.

When is it time to let go?
By Lori Schaefer, July 2013

I read lots of awesome blogs for motivation, encouragement, and empowerment. As an aspiring motivator, speaker and life transformation coach, I find it critical to connect with others in this same realm and to do my own reflection work as my personal journey continues.

In my view, we are never “done.” We are never really “there.” Personal learning/growth/self awareness and acceptance is a constant and ongoing process and one I love and appreciate more each day.

One of the topics that keeps bubbling up for me is learning when to let go. When is it right to go all in and pursue a goal, a dream, a thing you really, really want and let nothing stop you vs. letting something go that is not meant to be, or rather not meant to be right now? How do we determine when it is time to let it go?!

Well, one of my all time favorite inspirations and bloggers offered her perspective on this topic. I discovered Jennifer Pastiloff, a yoga teacher, writer and advocate for children with special needs, via Positively Positive. Jennifer’s answer to this question is:

“How do you know when it’s time to let go? When that particular season is upon us?

You know because your arms get heavy. Something sits in your chest, and you can’t name it, but you find yourself clinging to it as if it is a nameable thing.”

You can read her full blog “And then it was time to let go” here on Positively Positive.

I was successful at losing 200+ pounds and transforming my life by going 100% all in and giving it everything I had. By never giving up — especially when it got really hard or really scary. This is how I achieved something that had eluded me most of my life. In fact, in many areas of life, but particularly this one, going 100% all in – with no excuses – was the key to my success.

But the truth is that part of that process was also learning to let go of the past. Letting go of things – including old beliefs – that no longer served me. To transform my life, I had to go 100% all in but I also had to learn when to let something go, for right now, because it wasn’t right…it wasn’t serving me or allowing me to move forward but was rather keeping me stuck.

Life is a balance of holding on and learning to let go. Of going 100% all in and giving it everything you’ve got while at the same time learning what to let go…and when to let go for something better. Sometimes when we let go, we free ourselves and open ourselves up to new opportunities and possibilities.

The letting go part has always been harder for me personally to decipher. Partly because it is learning to give up control and trusting the process. And partly because I am a “go 100% all in kinda gal” – very determined, ambitious, driven and goal oriented. I love that about me. But I also pride myself on learning when it serves me best to let go. So thank you, Jennifer, for this blog that found it’s way to me at just the right time.

Anyone else struggle with when it is time to let go of something? I love the title of this blog – “And then it was time to let go.”

Lori