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Posts from the ‘Emotional Journey’ Category

Sep 26

Maybe what matters most is being brave

EDITOR’S NOTE: This blog is dedicated to the beautifully brave women in my life who have reminded me recently how awesome it is to both EXPERIENCE and WITNESS courage in action. Whether it’s facing a life-changing medical crisis and remaining strong and brave in the face of uncertainty, like my sister Lisa and my cousin, Donna. Or the beautiful and brave women who leapt despite their fear to put themselves and their health and happiness first as they embark on their own In-the-Equation journeys. To all the beautiful and brave women I know — this one’s for you. #brave #bravegirls #onebravething

lori-bravequote1When I was in the physical part of my personal transformation journey — nearing my weight-loss goal — someone asked me what the tipping point was for me. How did I find success this time when I had tried and failed so many other times?

To be honest, I don’t remember my exact answer. But I remember thinking later that I needed to know the real answer for myself. So I kept asking myself — what WAS different this time? How DID I do it?

A few days later, I noodled on a napkin the words: “Everything changed when I learned I could be brave and afraid at the exact same moment.” I lost 200 lbs and made my health, happiness and life a priority, the day I was brave and afraid at the same time…and acted anyway.

It was both the act of deciding and taking action that was brave. And little did I know at the time, but life with Lori-in-the-equation would require living a brave life — every day.

Too often we let fear stop us. The fear of putting ourselves out there, the fear of what others will think, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, even fear of success, can stop us dead in our tracks. When fear stops us, we play it safe. We retract and don’t go for what we really, really want. Often we stay stuck or living small. We don’t let ourselves truly shine. And for many of us, it means we don’t reach our personal and greatest potential. Can you relate?

There is another way. The brave life. Read more

Sep 6

When in doubt, take it to the mountain

Finding my center on the mountaintop. Navigating a difficult year!

lori-oberghike-aug2016One of the most beautiful things about committing to a healthy lifestyle centered around putting yourself in the equation of your own life, is the self-awareness and self-discovery that comes with it. I view myself as constantly growing, learning and evolving. I’m in a constant growth state — this time it’s a personal growth mindset NOT pant size growth! 😉

Over the past five years, I’ve learned to recognize what I need, when I need it and honor it with self-care and self compassion. It’s not always easy, but it’s becoming easier and I have many great mentors who’ve helped me along the way.

These past few months, I’ve been increasingly stressed, sad at times, and I’ve noticed that I’ve started to work a bit too much. I’ve become too isolated in my day-to-day life for this God-given Extrovert, and I’m starting to worry about things over which I have little or no control. The old “victim” voice has started to creep back into my conscience.

There’s no question that it’s been a tough year and I’m navigating some tough personal stuff, but there also are no victims allowed in this new Lori-in-the-equation life! So when the voice of the Gremlins — self-doubt, worry and that good old Victim appear, I know exactly what to do.

I take it to the mountain! Read more

Aug 22

The Post-it Note Plan. #intheequation

post-itnoteplan-intheeqationWho loves post-it notes?

O.K., ME! I am a (colored) post-it kinda gal. I use them for creativity and organization in my work, and in my personal life when I feel stuck, blocked, or like I need focus.

For the last few days on my morning walks, I’ve been noodling a NEW Lori-in-the-equation plan for 2016 to get me better focused on what I can control in my life, and to practice letting go (with grace) of the things I can’t. I’ve been feeling like SO MUCH in my world is out of my control these days. And to be honest, I’ve struggled with that.

Being a pessimist, a victim, a stuck or stalled kinda gal, does not suit me. So while I live in this crazy difficult year and the space between “no longer” and “not yet,” I’ve decided to honor it by thinking about WHAT in this space and time I can control that would propel me forward toward my goals. That includes sorting out what I really want and need to care about right now. Where I want my time, energy and focus to be. And, at the same time, WHAT I can let go of…because it no longer serves me or because it is 100% out of my control and worrying about it only keeps me from focusing on the things I can do something about. Read more

Aug 15

For the love of wine, peanut butter and dessert

winewithaviewWine. Peanut butter. Dessert. What do these three delightful things have in common in my world?

A) I LOVE them all! B) I’ve had a rocky relationship with each of them; C) I’ve learned a lot about myself and my body in exploration of, and with, them over the years; D) At least temporarily, I’ve broken up with each one of them; or E) All of the above.

Well, the answer is E — all of the above.

You might find this surprising, but I lost -211 lbs and 80% of my body fat on a diet program where I was NOT totally and completely deprived of these three loves. After I hit my weight-loss goal, and as I’ve worked to maintain a healthy lifestyle, things have gotten more complicated and, yep, a bit rocky.

I’m sharing my personal story with wine, peanut butter and sugary desserts because I’m guessing many of you can relate. You, too, may have foods (or patterns related to food) that worked for you…for awhile — or at least you thought they did — and as you’ve evolved, changed, or as life happens — your relationship with certain foods may also needs to change.

What do I mean? Read more

Aug 1

Changing from the inside out

ITE_Whole-Life_Quote_sqWhen I share my transformation story with others I’m often asked a provocative question: If I could do it all again — meaning lose 200+ lbs and become a fit, healthy and in-the-equation girl — but only keep ONE of the gifts of transformation, which would I choose?

What they mean is. Would I choose to keep the external, physical transformation of a 200-lb weight loss OR the internal transformation (the mindset and behavior shifts that garnered the happy, healthy and WHOLE life I describe in those speeches)?

For me, it’s a “no brainer.” I would absolutely choose the internal transformation — hands down!

Some are surprised by my answer, but here’s why. It’s because of my internal transformation –– changing my limiting beliefs and self doubts, learning to really love and accept myself, believing I’m enough exactly as I am, embracing my imperfections, having the courage to push past fear, learning to let go of what I cannot control — that I KNOW I could lose the weight again!

It was the limiting thought patterns and beliefs that I learned at a young age and practiced most of my adult life, that had me turning to food as a source of comfort and put me on the path to weighing 381 lbs. It was those very same limiting beliefs and thought patterns that kept me working like a crazy person to prove my self worth, cutting myself off from love and romance, and ultimately limiting my universe to things I thought I could control. Life got small as I got bigger. It certainly wasn’t what I now call a WHOLE life. Read more

Jul 25

The emotional side of the journey can make or break you

I choose make! Tips from a (recovering) emotional eater.

eattofuelHappy Monday, peeps. Forgive me for not getting a blog out last week. The truth is, I had to double down to keep Lori-in-the-equation and stay on track amidst some unexpected emotional upset and stress.

This “emotional upset” triggered my long-lost (ex) friend — the Worthiness Gremlin. Yep, that’s my nickname for destructive “old” thought patterns and internal voices that make me doubt myself and my worth. The bottom line: I had to hunker down and go “all in” to stay healthy.

As if that weren’t enough to navigate, we’ve had a crazy heat wave in MN with temps in the high 90’s and heat indexes of 110-120 degrees. That meant my go-to-method of managing emotional stress — power walking my neighborhood lake — was not always available to me. So I had to find alternatives.

Despite those obstacles, I had a solid week on my Lori-in-the-equation healthy restart. Yes! Several wins here. I managed to stay the course on my nutritional plan in the face of emotional pain and upset that in the old days would have triggered emotional binge eating like a pro. I found a way to exercise every day, even when it was in the high 90’s with 78% humidity outside. I stayed off the alcohol, giving up several opportunities for a summer cocktail on the patio with friends. (Though I’ll admit that a week of wild emotions had me wanting to drink!) And, perhaps most importantly, I worked extra hard to hold my strong sense of self and stay positive among some serious emotional pain, upset, worry, and stress. I did this by focusing only on what I can control — ME.

Why am I sharing my personal struggle with the emotional side of the weight-loss and wellness equation? Because I think many of you share it. Read more

Jul 14

Confession of a healthy and fit girl

lori-readytoroll-firstbikeoutingI have a confession to make. I’m 53 years old, and this week I took my first bike ride in nearly 35 years! (Think bicycle not Harley.)

This is a milestone I have to document. And in doing so, I hope to provide hope and inspiration to others who have given up exercise or personal enjoyment because they are too out of shape or afraid of what others might think. I can’t believe it’s taken me 30 years, four years sans -200 lbs, to get on a bicycle again.

How many things do we give up when we become overweight, sedentary, too busy, too focused on others, too afraid? Or, because we don’t think we deserve them. The answer for me was — A LOT!

Over the years of my adulthood as I became heavier and heavier, I started hiding myself behind that weight and the fear of putting myself out there. Slowly but surely, I limited my life and it became small.

Some examples. I gave up dating and romantic relationships — taking myself “off the market” and “turning the porch light off” because I was deathly afraid of rejection. I never traveled oversees or to places like Hawaii or Alaska, because I didn’t want to be on an airplane so long that I might have to use the restroom — I didn’t fit and flying wasn’t a fun experience. It was uncomfortable and I lived in fear of the seat belt not buckling and the flight attendants discovering that and offering me an extension.

Eventually, I gave up a lot of the outdoor activities I used to enjoy — walks on the beach or in the woods, jogging up hills, playing softball, riding a bike. That last one was a killer because growing up in rural Minnesota, I LOVED to ride bike! Read more

Jul 11

Self-care rocks!

A solid week of restart. YES, we can!

lori'sharleyYep, I’m living testament to the fact that when you take care of yourself and your health and well-being, everything else is better.  I’ve tested this theory from both sides, and I KNOW it works!

Over the July 4th holiday weekend, I took a much-needed vacation. I checked out of my day-to-day life and drove off to Madison, WI, to spend the long weekend with a dear friend celebrating her 50th. In four days, we “did” Milwaukee (think Summerfest outdoor concerts, Harley, and craft breweries), Madison’s outdoor concert scene (Steve Miller! and craft beer), and then we had an outdoor concert at Edgewater on the lake and a surprise 50th birthday party (think music and craft beer)!

Why am I telling you this?

Well, let’s just say, I got more than a little OFF my healthy eating at a time when I’ve been really struggling to keep it clean and healthy. So while I was already in a full-on restart after going up on the scale and in a clothing size, I STILL took a time out and partied with my friend to celebrate her 50th and live life. And I don’t regret it.

So now what?

Read more

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