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Posts tagged ‘it takes a village’

Finding my strong on the mountaintop

Can you be strong when your world falls apart?

As I awoke to the morning sunlight streaming across the ocean and into the bedroom window, I was reminded that Hurricane Irma had just hit my life. Sadness set in before the sleep was out of my eyes. How can you be strong when it feels as if your whole world has just fallen apart? I’ve survived some tough stuff, but I’m not sure I know how to do so while being strong.

I got out of bed and made my way outside to the wrap-around porch to drink my morning coffee and watch the tide slowly roll out, exposing the sea life on the ocean floor. Will those critters survive this tidal change, I wondered? What do they do when they become exposed and are gasping for air?

As I sit rather zombie-like starring out at the sea, I feel sad, mad, worried, empty, scared, tired, overly emotional, and…more. Feelings too exhausting to think about. And yet I find myself preoccupied with one question — what does it look like to be strong when the world as you know it is changing forever and not by choice? When bad things and challenging times pummel you with gale-force speed like an unforgiving Hurricane batters the shore, and you can’t fix it or change it.

This is not the first time I’ve been pummeled, of course, but this feels like the worst pummeling ever. (Most of the details don’t matter to the story — we all have times we experience this). What strikes me today is that I don’t think I’ve ever pondered this question in the midst of a pummeling.

Rather, I’ve wallowed, cried, complained, and suffered alone in my hurt and pain — drowning it with work, food, alcohol — and hiding from the outside world. And when other people experienced pain and suffering — I was the first one to show up. I gave, and gave and gave at the expense of myself, trying to fix it.

None of this feels right to me now. None of it fits my new Lori-in-the-equation life. And yet the pull to go back to bed and bury my head in the covers is strong. The pull to eat everything in sight — even stronger! I have a lot of experience with that.

But perhaps this is the next evolution of transformation for me. An opportunity to find my strongest and best self and learn to cope with “hard,” while loving and giving to her. So, I get curious again.

Can you be strong when your world falls apart? Read more

Why is asking for help so hard?

bestrongenoughDo you consider yourself strong? I do. How about brave? Yep, I do. Do you have trouble asking for help when you need it? I do! Yes, on all counts!

That’s why I love and aspire to this quote by Mark Amend — especially the “be brave enough to ask for it” part.

It turns out, asking for help is one area that continues to trip me up. With all of the progress I’ve made in my personal transformation, asking for help is still difficult. Somehow in my head, I have the notion that I am stronger if I go it alone. When in reality, that has not proven true. And when I do need help from those closest to me, there’s still a part of me that secretly hopes and expects them to know it and do so without my asking.

Did I mention, I am a work in progress?! Read more

Sometimes it takes a village

Support and accountability were key to my -200 lb weight loss & to maintaining it for 3 years!

Celebration Climb Mountaintop - May 2012Cheers to the village!

Thanks to support and encouragement from friends, I just got back from a cold, Minnesota cardio workout — power walking around my lake at 7 p.m. on a Monday night, in 40 degrees and drizzling rain. It was cold and wet, and lonely — only the nutjobs and die hards were out tonight!

I was not in the mood. I had every reason (okay, excuse) in the book for why I couldn’t workout today. Yet, I did it. And, WOW, does it feel great when you have to fight for it!

I will never underestimate the power of support and the accountability that goes with it. It was critical to my success in losing the weight, and it continues as I celebrate three years of healthy living and maintaining my -200 lb weight loss. Read more