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Posts tagged ‘perfectionism’

Mar 5

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So you’re not perfect. It’s okay. Perfect isn’t cool!

Ever hold yourself to a standard of perfection, only to find that it kept you stuck, stalled & living in a state of constant worry? Good News: Perfect isn’t cool! And striving for it can actually be a form of self-sabotage.

Last week I was on vacation with one of my “besties” in sunny 80-degree Florida! It was a planned birthday trip, combined with a respite from winter in Maine, and a much needed soul recharge to visit a close friend.

The Tampa weather was warm and sunny and it felt amazing to be walking outside every day. I walked 2-4 miles most mornings for outdoor cardio and we walked the beaches as much as possible. Truthfully, I couldn’t get enough! We ate healthy, too. My friend, Mary, is a dietician and an amazing cook who makes the best salads! Plus, I was on a personal mission to eat grilled Gulf shrimp and Grouper as often as I could.

The combination of eating healthy on vacation and moving outside in the sunshine every day totally lifted my spirits. Not to mention, the added psychological benefit of laughing and spending quality time with one of my closest friends. I came home focused and re-energized. Just the way it should be after vacation. Right?!

Reality set in when I returned to a very windy and cold Maine, and resumed the task of making a new life where I have yet to establish a solid routine. Transitions are hard for me in general, but I know this and was determined to continue my momentum upon returning home.

Fast forward a few days and, well, I am struggling. So what happened?

Well, life! Nothing too crazy, just normal stuff. Can you relate? Read more

Aug 22

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WWLD? Staying “In The Equation” in a crisis

WWLD — What Would Lori Do? This is my new mantra for practicing self-care and keeping myself “In The Equation” when the going gets really, really, really tough. (Yes, three reallys!)

And right now things are tough. My Dad has spent the last 12 days in the hospital about 60 miles from where I live — a week in critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit. My 13-year old nephew is still without full-time parental care and living in a temporary foster home. His mom, my 53-year-old sister, is in her third nursing home in 1.5 years working on recovering from a massive stroke. And the family dynamics amidst all of this are a challenge to say the least.

Thus, for the first time since May 2012, I find myself really struggling to stay “In the Equation.” I’ve fallen off my healthy eating plan and eaten more junk food in the last two weeks than in the last five years (yep, I’m not perfect). I haven’t practiced my regular high intensity workout routine for weeks. Sleep is a challenge. I haven’t written a blog in nearly a month. My home and yard need attention… And yet, despite all of that I have NOT thrown in the towel on my own self care. Why? Because this is my new “Healthy Lori” non-negotiable.

As I returned last night weary and sad from a long stretch at the hospital, I debated whether I could muster the strength to write a blog in an attempt to process some of the stress I’m feeling. What would I say to myself to get back on track that might also be useful to others who find themselves in a tumultuous sea of crisis — things totally outside of their control and struggling to stay afloat?

What popped into my head was not an answer, but a question: “What would Lori do?” I wondered. Read more

Feb 11

Love. It starts with you.

Tips for beginning to walk toward self-love and acceptance

self-loveSomewhere along my path of personal transformation, I’ve found a self-love and acceptance that brings me peace, joy and a centeredness that grounds me every day. I now love and accept myself exactly as I am — imperfections and all. For real. And that means I am more patient and kind to myself, more forgiving and gentle. And I’ve opened myself up to all kinds of other amazing love as a result.

The coolest part of this is that I’ve traveled here from almost the exact opposite end of the spectrum. From a place of almost unconscious, undetected struggle inside to ever be good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, sexy enough…

Yep, I came from a place that often allowed self-loathing to this amazing new place where I have a deep sense of self-respect, self-care and self-love. There’s a new, stronger and beautiful voice inside me that is able to counter and drown out (most of the time) my inner critic.

This was NOT an easy thing! It was not a one-time event. I can’t even tell you exactly when or how it happened for me. I just know that along the way of my external transformation to lose 200+ lbs, all the while working internally on recognizing, quieting and then changing my internal voice, I literally found myself. My beautiful, amazing, resilient and loving self! Read more

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