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When is it time to let go?

letting-go-handsI read lots of awesome blogs for motivation, encouragement, and empowerment. As an aspiring motivator, speaker and life transformation coach, I find it critical to connect with others in this same realm and to do my own reflection work as my personal journey continues.

In my view, we are never “done.” We are never really “there.” Personal learning/growth/self awareness and acceptance is a constant and ongoing process and one I love and appreciate more each day.

One of the topics that keeps bubbling up for me is learning when to let go. When is it right to go all in and pursue a goal, a dream, a thing you really, really want and let nothing stop you vs. letting something go that is not meant to be, or rather not meant to be right now? How do we determine when it is time to let it go?

Well, one of my all time favorite inspirations and bloggers offered her perspective on this topic. I discovered Jennifer Pastiloff, a yoga teacher, writer and advocate for children with special needs, via Positively Positive. Jennifer’s answer to this question is:

“How do you know when it’s time to let go then? When that particular season is upon us?

You know because your arms get heavy. Something sits in your chest, and you can’t name it, but you find yourself clinging to it as if it is a nameable thing.”

You can read her full blog “And then it was time to let go” here on Positively Positive.

I was successful at losing 200+ pounds and transforming my life by going 100% all in and giving it everything I had. By never giving up – especially when it got really hard or really scary. This is how I achieved something that had eluded me most of my life. In fact, in many areas of life, but particularly this one, going 100% all in – with no excuses – was the key to my success.

But the truth is that part of that process was also learning to let go of the past. Letting go of things – including old beliefs – that no longer served me. To transform my life, I had to go 100% all in but I also had to learn when to let something go, for right now, because it wasn’t right…it wasn’t serving me or allowing me to move forward but was rather keeping me stuck.

Life is a balance of holding on and learning to let go. Of going 100% all in and giving it everything you’ve got while at the same time learning what to let go…and when to let go for something better. Sometimes when we let go, we free ourselves and open ourselves up to new opportunities and possibilities.

The letting go part has always been harder for me personally to decipher. Partly because it is learning to give up control and trusting the process. And partly because I am a “go 100% all in kinda gal” – very determined, ambitious, driven and goal oriented. I love that about me. But I also pride myself on learning when it serves me best to let go. So thank you Jennifer for this blog that found it’s way to me at just the right time.

Anyone else struggle with when it is time to let go of something? I love the title of this blog – “And then it was time to let go.”

Lori

P.S. Just discovered this song by Frou Frou called Let go. Listen to the song on YouTube and lyrics here. Cool. There are lots of great quotes about letting go, and I share a few of my favs here.

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  1. Nice post, Lori! Can you give some examples of things that you have let go? Throughout my own journey, I know I’ve let go of some of my former limiting beliefs. I also had to make a decision about “when” it would be the right time to take personal control over my health and fitness by designing and experimenting with my nutrition and training on my own (versus following recommendations from a coach). I do have some bigger, long-term goals that I’m still working toward or considering (e.g., participating in a figure competition). For me, when determining when/whether to let go, I really try to listen and pay attention to how my goals (in all areas of life) are working together–if professional or personal goals start to conflict with one another, that’s the time that I need to sit down and re-evaluate what stays and what goes.

    July 18, 2013
    • Thanks for the post Julie. Yes, during my physical transformation journey/process I had to let go of control issues and self-defeating or limiting beliefs that stalled my forward progress and kept me stuck. Examples were the belief that: I’m not good enough, attractive enough, etc.; the only way people will like me is without boundaries…if I give at the expense of myself and become indispensable; I must be perfect or I am a failure. And more. Most of these limiting beliefs were the stories that I believed to be true throughout my childhood and early adult life and they became default settings – ways of operating in the world that kept me stuck/stalled/small. Often they were other people’s stories – inherited from an authority figure my life who handed them down as “rules.” For example, the rule – you don’t get to be happy or do what you want. Another “rule” – it’s not ok to fail. Failure is the end of the road. These things had to go for me to move forward. And it was not easy. Some of the letting go happened consciously and some more unconsciously. But it was all part of the same process.

      Now, I am in a very different place. Sometimes letting go of things – like a bad relationship, a bad job/client, etc. allows us to be open to new opportunities that bring greater joy and satisfaction. Sometimes, as Jen Pastiloff stated in her blog – you want something so much and believe you can make it happen or will it to be true that it becomes almost an obsession…something you try to control. It takes so much energy. I am exploring this realm now and that is what came to mind when I read Jennifer’s blog. I love the phrase, And it was time to let it go! So empowering. Thanks for the question, Julie. And sharing part of yourself and your journey.

      July 18, 2013

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