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Getting in touch with want vs. need

Putting yourself in the equation, level 2!

want-vs-needI’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I want vs. what I really need in a certain life situation. It has been eye opening to truly dig deep and get in touch with the differences between the two – want vs. need. And, it has allowed me to adjust my thinking in a positive way and relax a little, changing what I put out into the world. It’s pretty cool!

This makes me more open, flexible and even more patient. Certainly, it makes me more in touch with what is really important to me and why. And how I get my overall needs met.

My example is a relationship situation, but I was talking to a friend this morning about a career situation and I believe the same logic applies. I suspect that by my focusing on what I need given the circumstances vs. what I want – which might be more control – it takes some of the pressure off the other person, allowing it to take shape in different ways than it might otherwise have manifested. Time will tell.

So this begs the larger question: “Is there a gap between what we want in most life situations and what we really need?

It presents other questions, too. What would happen if we approached big life decisions, situations or relationships in this way? Would it allow us to be freed and to focus on what really matters to us, while perhaps taking some pressure off ourselves and the situation at hand? Or, would we be in some way settling for less than we deserve?

Can we be truly happy getting what we need vs. what we want? Is this a short term vs. a long term strategy? And, can we still grab hold and go all in – taking full advantage of the opportunities that present themselves to us – if a situation doesn’t necessarily align exactly with our list of wants? Or, is it better to hold out for the whole enchilada? And does that even exist?

These are the many questions that I have been wrestling with in my head these past weeks as I sort through my personal situation. The truth is, I LOVE this stuff! The questions and the opportunity to get to this level of internal transformation. In the past, I would expect, jump, judge, feel and not necessarily know exactly what I wanted vs. needed. So this in and of itself is evolution and transforming for me.

I am still squarely in the center of my equation when I go for what I need vs. what I want. And I ALWAYS will be. But I am finding that what I need is what’s important and it is often way different than my long list of wants. If I get what I need, for sure in the short term, then it is by far a net positive. The whole situation is positive. Glass half full. I am a lucky girl. Beats the alternative…

This might not be true for you. And it might not be true in all situations. For me, just the process of thinking this through and understanding myself better is an uncovering that is part of the next level of my internal transformation – Lori in the equation, level 2! It has been eye opening and Lori-affirming.

So, while I am totally writing this blog for me – processing out loud – or rather in writing for the world to see. And, while I have posed way more questions than answers here, I ask you this…

If you could take a leap and go for an opportunity that comes along but got only what you need vs. what you want, would you go for it? Think about it this way: Imagine you could lose it or let it pass you by because it might be challenging and you might not get what you want…OR, you could go for it and get what you really need. What do ya think? What would you do?!

Just curious. Please chime in with your comments or if you feel more comfortable private message me here.

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  1. Disney Dean #

    OK, so I am reading this at the end of a long “graveyard shift”, and it is so deep!! It’s funny because someone said to me the other day “we can’t have everything we want”. I remember thinking “ya know, you are right”. I want to give this more thought but wanted to let you know I read it and am thinking about this. 🙂

    April 14, 2013

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