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Honor the space between no longer and not yet

Today I’m sharing ramblings from my journal because there is a lesson here for me…and maybe for you!

ITE_Between_Quote2I don’t want to let go of what is no longer mine. I changed my mind! I still really love what I lost. It was comfortable and safe. I knew where I was going. I knew the end goal. I was on a mission.

And I was happy. I felt love and connection. I was moving toward a dream. I was NOT done yet when it was ripped from me. And I don’t want to let go! (Even if I know letting go is absolutely right for ME.)

I’m uncomfortable. I want to know what’s next.  And then I want to do, achieve, go, and live into it. I want to feel that spark inside again. The one that makes me unstoppable. I know I can soar, and I’m ready. Let’s go! I like that space better. The soaring part. I want to move forward at warp speed to the next big thing.

But, it’s not time. Soon it will be time, but not quite yet. There is more work to do right here, right now. Your job is to honor this space. To sit with it and be in it and learn everything you can learn.

Wow, this is uncomfortable space for me! Swinging between the highs and the lows. Learning to sit with the lows — to feel them and process the lessons in full. To experience it all when I’ve lost my spark. To sit in and with pain, loss and discomfort– this is hard stuff.

It’s hard to be in emotional pain. To process and allow yourself to fully feel the loss of a great love before hurling toward a new relationship. To give your heart the time it needs to heal. It’s hard to experience the physical pain, chronic pain, of an injury and listen to your body when it doesn’t want to work, making all of the healthy physical outlets for processing the emotional pain really tough. It’s hard to experience loss at so many levels — to worry about the future, and to just sit here and feel and experience it vs. running forward to the next thing.

It’s so damn hard. It’s hard to live in the space “in between”, and remain healthy and totally “in my equation.”

But it’s here right between “no longer” and “not yet” that I need to be. I need to lean in. To trust myself and the process. Feel and live it all. It is in the lows and the emptiness that comes after the highs, it is here that we develop our resilience and truly find our strength. It’s here where we discover we’re tougher than we thought. We learn to nurture ourselves in different ways — healthy ways vs. addictive and destructive ways. Sometimes we need to ask for help. We need to lean on those who care for us. We need to trust ourselves more.

Nancy Levin was really on to something with this quote – we must honor that space. The space between “no longer” and “not yet.”

We must fully “be” in it and learn to take care of ourselves when we’re in it. For it is here in this uncomfortable, awful space that we plant the seeds of “what next?” and those seeds takes root. And, when we’re ready, “what next?” will appear before our very eyes as a sprout of hope. We’ll feel the pull and the spark again. We’ll grab hold because we’re aware, we’re ready and we’re open. And we’re so much better for it. Then, and only then, will we soar on to new levels and the next big, beautiful thing. Our next amazing chapter!

Honoring the space “in between.” In all areas of life — physical, emotional, work and personal. That’s exactly where I am. And exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I pray for the patience to sit here in uncomfortable and hard, and let the good, amazing and new things take root. There is no question I will soar again. Just not yet.

Thanks for reading.



P.S. My amazing new friend Jana Stanfield has a song titled, Between the No Longer and Not Yet. You can see the lyrics here, and while you’re at it, check out her amazing motivational and inspiration music and keynotes. I met Jana at the National Wellness Conference in June. More on this soon!


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4 Comments Post a comment
  1. Sandy #

    Very nicely stated. And yes, this is something everyone feels, even though we don’t like it or don’t want it. But this is where growth happens, right!? Sometimes it is a decision we made that puts us “in between” and sometimes it is a decision others make. Looking forward to walking Como on Thursday!

    August 10, 2015
  2. I think this is one of your best blogs yet. So insightful and real. Impressive. You’ll be stronger and better than ever….soon! Go, Lori!

    August 10, 2015
  3. Pam #

    Good blog Lori. You really shared some hard stuff, and that takes a lot of courage.

    For me, that space in between “no longer and not yet” has been a big slice of my life, so it’s been critical that I’ve been able to find sparks within myself that require no one else is to ignite. Not that the externally ignited sparks aren’t fantastic and important, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve learned there are sparks within myself that are satisfying and powerful, too, and they complement the times when there are outside sources to ignite the sparks. I believe I’m stronger and have more serenity because of this. Or perhaps I’m just kidding myself, but I do feel content and a joyful spark for life whether the sparks come from within me or from outside sources.

    I wish you all the best in finding sparks from both within and externally ignited Lori! Thanks for all the insights you share.

    August 11, 2015

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