I hear ya horse, carbs and mother nature

What do healthy carbs, a horse and mother nature have in common? This week, a reoccurring lesson that Lori is NOT in control!

This past week, I had to dig deep to sustain trust in my program and my program director extraordinaire, Leif Anderson. And, I had to once again learn to give up control. It turns out, I am not in charge of the universe! Damn. And I do better when I recognize and embrace that.

Leif had me on a “carb up” plan (my terminology not his) and I gained some weight with the idea that I would then drop fast once I went back to the more restrictive plan. The goal was to get me another 5-10 lbs down before my impending mountain climb in Acadia with my sisters/friends. So for a week, I ate so many carbs I actually felt ill on day one. Mind you, these were healthy carbs and all good for me – such as whole grain bread, oatmeal, fruit, sandwich thins (the healthy kind), sweet potatoes… I just haven’t had many carbs in plan the past 10 months and this scared me psychologically more than anything.

But follow the plan I did at nearly 100%, working every day to trust my trainer. When it came time to restrict this week I did and expected the weight to drop right off and then some, making my “cute pants” fit better on vacation. Turns out, I am not in charge. Mother nature and the universe intervened with something called hormonal disturbance or some might say peri-menopause. Crap. And, walla, instantly rather than losing I am gaining or remaining steady despite my determination and near 100% execution of the plan. Can I just say, this sucks!?

I tell you all this personal stuff because the lesson is so critical to my success in this program, and well, frankly in life. We are not in control! Stuff happens. Hormones happen. Friends fall off horses one week before a big mountain climb and may not be able to do it. Weather may prevent perfect views from the summit. I may climb that mountain carrying water weight I didn’t have a week ago that makes me feel heavier and my pants tighter. So what!

Once again I am reminded that when I roll with it. When I embrace what is real and happening in the moment and give up my desire/need to control it, I feel better, things look brighter and I enjoy life more. This mountain climb will hopefully happen. My sisters and I have been planning it for months. But if it doesn’t, or it isn’t as perfect as I had envisioned in my head, so what. I will be with my sisters/friends and I will be celebrating a journey that is changing my life in ways big and small. I will embrace whatever comes in that moment and realize it is meant to be.

Thank you Leif for reminding me of that. Mother nature, well I guess, thank you too. And horse, I am still mad you bucked off my beloved friend Jean! But, thank God she is going to be okay and she will get through this. The sisters will help her up the mountain.

I have to go now. Got mountains to climb.

LOR